Dr. Robert Glover – Positive Emotional Tension
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I had the most amazing revelation after a run on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, spring 2008. I’m not sure where the insight came from, but when it hit me, it almost blew my mind.
The “aha” of that moment made almost every question I’d ever had about women – as a single and married man – crystal clear.
Here it is.
Women have to experience emotional tension to feel attraction and attachment to a man.
In that moment, everything became clear. Everything I’d ever done wrong with women. Everything I’d ever done right with women (but didn’t know why). Everything women had ever done that made absolutely no sense to me at the time.
I was so immediately blown away, I ran back to my room and wrote eleven legal pages of notes on how to apply this information.
Here are the basics:
For a woman to be attracted to a man, she has to feel emotional tension with him (which often gets translated into physical and sexual tension).
Check out a few chick-flicks to see what I’m talking about.
For a woman to remain attached to a man, she has to regularly feel emotional tension with him.
All this is basically the opposite of what most men believe about attracting and keeping a woman. That’s why what most men do is wrong and leads to unending frustration for both them and women.
It became clear to me why single men fail to create attraction with women by being “nice.”
It became clear to me why many women in relationship lose sexual desire for their partner over time (and start nagging, complaining, withdrawing, getting fat, etc.).
That day changed my life. The information I will share with you in this workshop will change yours as well.
Here are the two biggest “tension” mistakes I see men make with women.
The first is to go out of their way to make sure they never create any tension.
Most men hate emotional tension – especially any kind with a woman – so why would they want to create it?
If you are single and seem to struggle in attracting women or often end up in the “friend zone,” it’s probably because when you meet a woman, you invest all your energy in trying to get her approval.
You don’t take any risks. You listen to her talk about what she’s interested in. You don’t touch her or tease her. You buy her drinks and volunteer to help her sister move. Your “niceness” creates no tension, and she gets bored. Next thing you know she’s gone to the bathroom and never comes back.
After several experiences like this, you assume women just aren’t attracted to you, or they only go for jerks. So you do the only thing you know – you get nicer and try even harder to please.
If you are in a relationship and your partner is frequently too tired or too busy to have sex. Or the sex you have is boring and routine. If your woman often seems irritable and seems to enjoy pointing out your faults. If she is withdrawn or has gotten overly invested in her job, the kids, food, or television, it’s because whatever tension used to exist is long ago and far away.
If this sounds like your relationship, you probably don’t risk in any way: you keep things to yourself, you avoid rocking the boat; you try to please and avoid conflict, you withhold the truth, and you don’t ask for what you want. All of this kills emotional tension, and with it any “attachment” your woman might have had to you (and her trust and her sex drive along with it).
The second big mistake men make is to quickly try to eliminate any tension a woman creates.
If you’re single, a woman has to quickly find out if you have your shit together. Whether she knows it or not, she wants a man who can provide for and protect her. She’s a security-seeking creature, and Mother Nature wired it into her. She doesn’t want to be the most powerful person in the room (though she will be if you’re not).
She uses “shit tests” to find out if you’re man enough to be her man.
Most men quickly fail a woman’s shit tests, because they see them as attacks. But they’re the opposite. They signal a woman is already attracted to you and now wants to find out if she should give herself to you more deeply.
As soon as you defend yourself, explain, make excuses, or act flustered, you’ve failed, and her juices dry right up.
If you are in a relationship and your woman has a mood or an emotion, I bet you quickly “put the wet stuff on the red stuff.” You do whatever you can to solve her mood and get her back to “good.”
I call this “maintaining the possibility of availability.” You probably don’t think your woman will want to have sex with you if she is in a bad mood, but the truth is that, for women, drama is foreplay.
If you aren’t consciously creating “Positive Emotional Tension” (PET),your woman will unconsciously create “Negative Emotional Tension.” You know, the body language, noise, criticism, accusations, complaining, and sighs that create tension between you.
Women tell me they don’t mean to get all bat-shit crazy, but they can’t help it. Since your woman needs emotional tension to feel attracted and attached to you (and she really does want to feel attracted and attached to you), she will create it – she has to.
I know right now much of this probably sounds crazy to you, but I hope it’s also making a little sense as well.
In this four-week online course, we will uncover and apply the principles of PET.
- If you are single, it will change how you relate to every woman you meet.
- If you are in relationship, it will transform you and the woman you love.
- And whether you’re single or in a relationship, it will improve your sex-life times X.
I will teach you how to create PET, not as a technique, but as a way of inviting a woman into a deep connection with you.
Whether you’re single and want to learn how to create instant attraction with women, or in a long-term relationship that has lost it’s spark, this course will transform your life.
No more trying to please women. No more groveling for sex. No more feeling frustrated. No more wondering, “What did I do wrong?” No more pondering, “Why did she do that?”
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